Images

https://youtu.be/MjyfObGknJ0

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There are many images

Around me,

And all are distorted ;

Whether my eye sight

Is failing or

Acquiring a different focus,

I do not know.

I am trying to give up

What others think are

The better things of life ;

Perhaps

I am trying to prove

( to myself ? ),

That I am different

Than the others.

The inner peace

Does not seem to come,

I seem

As empty as before –

Is fulfillment

An empty dream ?

Even two birds fill the sky,

But I am alone,

And doomed to die.

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Tik 20

                                    https://youtu.be/-I_ORgNabgg

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Tik 20 , Tik 20,

Tick , tick

Twenty , twenty

Twenty is plenty

And enough is enough.

But I have to be a coward

To wish otherwise,

Why else , should there be

Butterflies

In my stomach , when I take to air ?

Me,

Who was himself a butterfly

Once upon a time !

Bring that bottle to me ,

In any case

Impotents cannot die –

Besides,

Am I not a later day Socrates ?

( I wonder if Socrates was married ! )

Am I not entitled

To my cup of ecstasy

Floating on these clouds ?

Hamlock , Tik 20,

What difference does it make ?

I do not think

The sky will cry

Or the sea get indigestion

Should this plane go down !

As for you,

You will cry your heart out

Till it is empty

( your tears might even fill,

A bottle of Tik 20 ! )

Get rid,

Of yourself

Of this infection

You have called love,

I had no right

To enter your life –

But having entered

Can I tip toe

Into the waiting arms

Of the Amavasya night

Without , so much as saying ,

Sayonara , Al Vida,

Goodbye !


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Premonition ?

https://youtu.be/pslitVv6BBg

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I wasn't born yesterday
and
I am not likely to die
this afternoon
( God willing ! ) ;

But the pity of everything
this entire
scheme of life,
is also the same  !

That things should happen,
God willing ;

And that the lumps
of desires
in my breast
should turn ,
-- not into the milk of
human happiness
but
into some grotesqe
cancerous growth !

Neither ones that I
could get rid thru
mastectomy - radical or otherwise !

These must continue to
grow
and grow
and bigger ever grow ,
till the serpentine
the evil twine
engulf
not only my body
but my soul as well ,
decaying beyond all repair  ;

So , what do I do  ?

Despair  ?

Prey to the Lord Almighty,  
to kindly cut,
so that,
in the least should it hurt ;

And when I succumb,
at least,
let her know  
for whom, 
unfortunately , I was born
a Cancerian and not
a Capricorn 

---------------------

06 Mar 1978 

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